It was a girls' night out for me and one of my good friends. We did some exploring downtown in the International District, had some yummy Asian food for dinner, and then settled on a night of bar hopping in Capitol Hill. We opted for people-watching style bars, because in Capitol Hill you just really never know what you're going to see....or who you are going to meet, in this case.
We started the night off at one of my new favorite dive bars, The Redwood. It reminds me of Linda's, another favorite of mine, and the people are the same type of crowd...colorful, lively, and nice. Most of our time spent there was just relax time, chatting it up, having some conversation with the bartender, taking some girlie shots, and watching an old movie playing on the tv projector there...it was very comfy. But we got bored, so on to the next....Cha Cha, an even MORE colorful place (check out the photos here), with more upbeat indie hipster music. Basically, a good place to end the night.
My friend and I were chatting it up, feeling pretty decent, and overall enjoying the scenery, pointing out some real original looks here and there. It's getting fairly close to last call, so what happens? That's right, some random dork struts on over, seeing two ladies without any men, thinking he has struck the mother load. Needless to say, this dude was barking up the wrong fucking tree, but there's nothing wrong with a little amusement, right?
Let me describe him to you. Very tall, very scrawny, and dressed like a typical Capitol Hill dude. What does a Capitol Hill dude look like? See below:
Unfortunately for me, most of them aren't as cute as Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levitt above. This guy even had the signature dork glasses to go along with it. Normally I would like that, but the look really wasn't doing much for this guy. It was an interesting conversation, although tall scrawny guy was trying to get a little touchy/feely with moi. "Umm....could ya not touch me, please...I just met you."
After this initial bit of witty banter and feisty-ness on my part, dude proceeds to invite us to an "after-party" at his place. He assured us it was cool and it wasn't far from where we were. He was virtually harmless, so my friend and I decided it was time for a random party crash. If nothing else, we figured, "This guy is sure to be even more entertaining."
Well, we made it to the "party" and there was no party. It was us and tall scrawny guy. In this big house in Capitol Hill. As we entered the living room, there were a plethora of musical instruments. A mandolin and a piano were right there. Dude wanted to show of his skills of course, so he pointed out that he was a very good piano player. "How good?" we ask. He continues to start playing and then even start singing this Beatles song to us. This would have been very flattering...if the damn guy could actually sing. It sounded more like a goose being attacked by a bear. The Beatles would be pissed at his interpretation, I'm sure.
Bet you can't guess what he asked us next..."Want to go on a tour of the house?" Fuck it...we're drunk..."surrrrreeeee." When we reached his bedroom, we were amazed. In the room, amongst the usual bedroom necessities, was a enormous white board on the wall, with details written about his financial goals.
1.) Become CEO by 2015
2.) Own this amount of property
And so on...
He even had a breakdown of how he would allocate his money if he made a million dollars. Money to burn per month = $11K. Shit...whatever planet this guy is headed to, I'm so in for the ride (I would think the opposite later on)...ambition is kinda hot, maybe I can get over the look, maybe even the screeching Beatles songs.
At this point in time, he leads us out to the upstairs deck. It's a twee bit chilly, but what the hell. Outside we find a picnic table, a hammock, and a mini-trampoline (you know, like the ones that came out in the 80's). Make a mental note here: Buzzed girls are easily amused by both hammocks and mini-trampolines. I headed straight for the hammock. Instead of thinking carefully and slowly, I tried to plop right down on the damn thing. Well, I made it onto the hammock...and then quickly ate shit onto the ground on the other side. Talk about laughing at yourself. Fucking hilarious. My friend laughed at me too. Not one to be discouraged, I went for round two of the hammock. Ah...success! Finally a little bit of relaxing. Then of course my friend decided she wanted to bounce around on the trampoline. Quite possibly one of the funniest things I've seen her do, ever....nothing makes you feel younger than behaving like a child.
Looking back on this moment, tall scrawny guy was probably in heaven (or possibly imagining us doing the very same thing without any clothes on). After a bit of this amusement, we were ready to go on to the next part of the house, but quickly getting bored with this guy. He was once more trying to get touchy/feely with me, but I wasn't having it. As we were preparing to bail, I noticed another list of goals tacked to the back of his bedroom door. What was on this list had nothing to do with the previous financial goal list I mentioned. First item on the list: 1.)Try three new sexual positions. You can only imagine where the list went from there. Seriously...nothing wrong with a little experimentation, but come on...A LIST!
"FRIEND! It's time to GO.....NOW!!"
Song of the day: "Here's The Thing" Girl Talk (this guy thought he was gonna ride the train...ummmm no.)
No comments:
Post a Comment