What the....

I had a dream last night that my mother was pregnant. It was really really weird...not only due to the fact that my mom is in her mid-60's, but in that it made me think, "I would have made a great older sister." I've never thought of myself that way before.

It would have been nice to have had a younger sibling. But I'm lucky to have two fantastic older ones. It's strange...we've gotten closer as years have gone on, but I don't really think they truly "know" me. Neither of them have come to visit me since I've moved away from Indiana. Come to think of it, neither of them came to see me when I was in college at Purdue (two hours away from home) either. That's a lot of years where they have only seen me when I'm interacting at home in smalltown, USA. Believe me, there is a difference in how I am there versus how I am here.

I love them for who they are, but just a piece of advice to all of those other older siblings out there...these things do matter on some scale. Sometimes I pretend it isn't that big of a deal, but in the reality of it all, when my parents are gone (which better not be for a LONG time)...will I ever see the rest of my family if I always have to come to them?

My dad would tell you it's a convenience thing. Like I purposely moved far away just so that it would be inconvenient or something. Sort of like, "Well, it's your own fault for moving so far away." To which my reply would be something like, "Well Jesus...didn't know it was so "inconvenient" for me to BE ME, even if that is different from what you're used to."

I have to give props to my mother and father though. They stayed with me twice when I lived down in Arizona, and they have every intention on coming to see me when my mother is back in good health.

This whole post might sound a little narcissistic, so on the other hand, I want to note that not only do I wish my siblings knew me better, but I wish that they would come to visit so that I could show them so many things that they have never seen or experienced before. But I suppose everyone's comfort zone has it's limits...I guess I just wish they would push theirs a little bit more.

Have a great weekend. Toodles.

Song of the day: "I And Love And You" The Avett Brothers