A REAL Halloween story

I'm very creative when it comes to Halloween costumes.

But, let it be known...I should not be left alone with sharp objects...such as a UTILITY KNIFE.

Cause then shit like this happens:


It was much like a scene in a horror film. When the knife went in, blood started squirting everywhere. I can laugh about it now, but at the moment it happened it was very much a "Whoa, shit...DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?" instance.

I made it to the bathroom and grabbed a clean washcloth from under the sink (whilst the blood is RUNNING down the drain). Obviously at this point I have realized that a little trip to the ER is going to be in order...and also quietly begin freaking out because the end of my thumb is numb.

So, my roommate can't drive because his leg is broken and I'm more worried about the immediacy of making it to the hospital, so I proceed to DRIVE MYSELF TO THE ER whilst trying to keep from bleeding all over the place. I cannot lie, I certainly yelled at a few cars in front of me to get a fucking move on, and proceed to start bawling my eyes out because I sooo should not be driving myself to the ER. Just a little bit of shock going on, I would say.

The cool part is that when I got there they got me in straight away. But then comes the worst part...numbing that bitch thumb up. The doctor comes out with a needle the size of Texas and warns me that this is going to be the worst part of the whole procedure.

And hell yes...it was. I screamed like a child.

Nine stitches and two hours later, I set off for home. And you better believe I went out for Halloween in that costume. They wrapped my thumb up like a damn mummy and it was going to be numb for another six hours anyway. Why the hell not? BLOOD, sweat, and tears went into that costume. And it was killer :).

So, how's that for a real Halloween story?

Song of the day: "I'm In Here" Sia