One for the friends...the ones you can count on

If there is one thing going through a nice little self-crisis does for you, it's to show you who your true friends really are. And dammit...I have some great friends.

These are the type of friends you can go to with anything. The ones that let you know that you're never alone. As crazy as things can seem at your life at any given time, there always seems to be someone out there that understands...has been through the same thing...or knows someone that has. Or, heaven forbid...someone that just isn't so goddamn judgmental. Someone that realizes that karma comes around, and someday the person going through something so overwhelming JUST MIGHT BE THEM.

These are the friends that you can go to and explain, upfront, "Dude...I really fucked something up." And they will do whatever they can to make you move forward, and try to get past it all. Especially if you're really good at being down on yourself when this shit does happen (quintessential moi...perfectionista when it comes to myself...I get stuck in this phase A LOT...but I'm working on that).

It's the small things that count. Checking in, making you laugh, inviting you out, relating to what's going on....such small things, that make such a huge difference.

ALL OF YOU FRIENDS OUT THERE...I'M PRETTY SURE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I OWE YOU GUYS THE WORLD, AND I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE IF YOU NEED ME.

And while I'm not the picture of health yet...I will be. I'm stubborn and determined, and have made up my mind that I'm going to get past all of this. And while it took getting close to and unfortunately hurting someone I truly care about to realize that there actually was a problem, I'm grateful to have gone through that...because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have known that there actually was a problem to begin with. Hopefully someday that person will forgive me, but that is something that is out of my control.

The mind is a mysterious thing. It's so resilient. I'm still mystified at the fact that something from so long ago has still found it's way of haunting me.

But enough of that...I figure I should end this post optimistically. The upside to an overwhelming amount of stress is that I appear to have lost about six or seven pounds in the span of a week or so. While I don't condone this method of weight loss...I'm sure as hell going with it!

The way I see it, now that none of my pants fit, I can go out and buy new ones...and that will definitely make me happy :).

Song of the day: "Let Me Go" Phantogram