1.) Nerdy guy - still occasionally texts, but we have never gotten together to hang out again. We talk about meeting up again, but it never actually happens...either I or he always cancel. He tells really bad jokes, but is very nice, and I think he could be a good friend at some point. No spark, so definitely not pursuing that one any further as far as the dating arena goes.
2.) Fisher boy - aka frontrunner - things are going pretty well. We hang out every couple of days, which I have to admit takes a big cut into my free time, but seems to be well worth it because I always have a great time just chilling with him. There are multiple reasons that I like him the most, but possibly the most important one is that he is very pressure-free when it comes to how things progress between us. This is sort of a blessing and a curse.
Because of his line of work, he is going to be in and out of my life (so to speak) for months at a time. This is good for me because I am personally quite scared about being in a relationship with anyone...I'm just not good at it, to be quite frank. So, this gives me plenty of space. However, it makes for some major obstacles when you're trying to get to know someone better.
Case and point: Fisher boy is leaving tomorrow to go home and do some construction work for his father in West Virginia. It's highly unlikely that I will see him again until somewhere around Christmas time, if that. We can still email, and talk on the phone, etc...but that really isn't the same. Early this weekend he mentioned to me that we should have a chat about where things are and where they are going and so on and so forth. Personally, I've been avoiding "the talk."
I'm not avoiding the talk because I'm afraid he doesn't want to see me anymore or anything like that (by the way he acts, I don't believe that is anywhere near what he is thinking)...avoiding it because I'm afraid he DOES want to continue to see me and wants to see me exclusively or something like that. That is not something I'm prepared for. My thoughts are that we can continue to talk and get to know each other, but should be free to see other people. When he comes back, we can just see where we are....who knows what will happen.
Seems like an easy enough way to put things, right? Well, not so easy for me. Instead I become a withdrawn introvert when it comes to these things. For instance...we hung out last night. I left earlier than I normally would....gave him a big hug and took off as fast as my legs could take me. I'm just not very good at goodbyes.
Since tonight is his last night in town for awhile, it's quite likely he'll ask me to pop out for awhile with him and his friends to have a drink....part of me feels awkward about going. It's like I'm trying to detach myself before I'm even really attached to him! Sheesh...what is wrong with me? I have to laugh at myself about these things, and I keep telling myself to go-with-the-flow...hopefully that pays off. He's a super patient guy...kind, sweet, cute...that's what I need. Because honestly...if I had $5 for every asshole I've ever dated....well, you get the drift.
Song of the day: "Hearing Damage" Thom Yorke (cause this song was amazing in New Moon...gotta give it up)
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