Bitter Twitter

It's almost 9 a.m. and I'm at Starbucks....with a hangover. Hell, I might still be a little drunk actually. And, I'm about to kill this child the next table over that is screaming her little lungs out.

Last night was time #2 that I've been drunk since I've moved to Seattle. And I'll be damned if the most stupid idiotic shit comes out of me when I've reached that point. You know, the point that's past 6 rum and diets and a shot of Surfer on Acid. The bitter point, where I say things that I don't think I actually mean, but maybe I do? It does a number on me, that's for damn sure. I spend the next day wondering....did I really mean that shit?

I'm one of those people that needs a fucking breathalyzer on their phone. It's very rare that I reach that wasted point these days, but when I do....shit....who knows what my fingers are going to type. I always wonder what folks on the other side think...I text people when I'm in this not-so-smart state. I even say things that I don't mean....WTF?? I thought that alcohol was supposed to make you extremely honest? Apparently when it comes to me, it just makes me say whatever the hell the first thing is that pops into my mind. In a way I suppose this is a little shout out to those friends that have been on the other side...I'm sorry y'all. I'm not perfect...and maybe I am a little bit crazy...who knows.

I'm infamous for beating myself up for the things that I do wrong. I'm hard on myself...it's just who I am. Maybe it's just a lifetime's worth of daddy issues, where I always try to make him proud and never receive any praise....yeah, that's probably it....but, regardless, the rest of this weekend might not be the easiest for me. So, let the punishment begin....I'm going to ride my horse right now (might be considered "drunken riding" at this point), then make an hour and a half drive up north and back with a friend to The Bivalve Bash (shellfish festival) and then off to the Torchlight Parade when I get back (which I'm thinking of skipping). I might be having fun on the outside, but there will be this lingering feeling on the inside that will make it very rough for me.

So, here's to the folks that might think I'm nuts, and here's to the hangover....a little recovery medication: chai, water, and coffee cake. Here's to recovering my sanity.













Song of the day: "Breathe" Anna Nalick (cause..."these words are my diary screaming out loud")