I left my previous employer (in Phoenix) back at the end of March. As expected, I received a letter in early June notifying me of a lump sum amount from my retirement plan that would be sent to me within the next 30 days. It wasn't enough to warrant a rollover really, so I figured I would just deposit the amount (even though there was a hefty tax deduction) and start from scratch. Point blank...I need that money for my emergency fund.
First, the letter was not addressed to my new Seattle address, which I had given to my benefits department upon my departure, so it took an extra two weeks for that letter to get to me through post office address forwarding. So, I had to call my benefits department again, apparently they did not process my address change. GLAD I GOT THAT SHIT TAKEN CARE OF RIGHT AWAY...it would be hell for my W-2 to get sent to the wrong address when the end of the year comes around.
Second, I had not received the letter from my specific benefits department, but rather from my previous company's corporate office, located on the other side of the country. Knowing there was a high chance for a disconnect between the two, I gave them a call as well and updated my address information. While on the phone with them, I asked if the lump sum check would be correctly mailed to my Seattle address. They assured me that even though it was already in process, the check should arrive in 2-3 weeks...TO SEATTLE.
As of a week ago....NOTHING. I even gave it sufficient time for the check to have went to my Phoenix address and to have been forwarded from there....STILL NOTHING.
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN THAT NEEDS MONEY.
(She looks innocent, folks....but don't let that fool you.)
So, time for some more phone calls to track down my fucking money. First, to my previous employer. They got it right the second time around and had indeed updated my address.
Off to door #2...the corporate office. THOSE IDIOTS DIDN'T PROCESS MY ADDRESS CHANGE. And...to make matters worse, the person on the phone made it sound like it was MY fault. DUDE, YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THE WRONG CHICK.
I tried my best not to rip him a new asshole, but rather let out an exasperating sigh whilst asking, "How much longer until I receive my check to the CORRECT address?" The response, "Approximately 2-3 weeks after the address change is approved." APPROVED?? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO...CALL THE DAMN POST OFFICE TO MAKE SURE I LIVE THERE??!!
After this statement, he followed with, "Well, the person that approves these has been very busy lately with meetings." OH, WELL THAT MUST BE BECAUSE YOUR COMPANY IS TANKING AND THE WORKERS ARE EITHER GETTING LAID OFF OR LEAVING VOLUNTARILY. At this point, I know this guy can get me no further, so I thank him and hang up.
But now....onto my covert ops plan. Since you all know how stealth I am (click here if you don't know what I'm talking about). I guess I can't really call it covert, but it sounds cool, right? The letter that I got back in June came addressed from a specific benefits person at the corporate office. I believe that she was the person I originally talked to about my address change...that's right, she was the one that FUCKED IT UP and didn't get it processed. So, I pulled her email address off that letter and basically let off some steam =). Nothing too harsh, just lots of verbiage on how disappointed I was and how some people need their money more than others. (Okay, okay...so maybe I laid the guilt on a little thicker than necessary, but if I was going to get this shit done, I had to do it right!)
Email constructed...sent. Five minutes later...REPLY! The short version...APOLOGY, WILL PROCESS ASAP.
Low and behold, yesterday THE CHECK ARRIVES! So, although it isn't normally my style, sometimes it really does pay to complain.
Song of the day: "New Perspective" Panic! At The Disco (I'm allowed to like a whiny song now and then, right?)
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