"I feeeeeelllll happy!"

Back in my college days, one of my lovely roommates, Lisa, introduced me to Monty Python and The Holy Grail (skip to about the 45 second mark and then watch it until the end):



Poor not-dead guy!

Anyway, I'm just posting today because that's it....DAMMIT I'M HAPPY TODAY!

I made a decision last night to pretty much LET IT ALL GO. Honestly, I've hung on to some old bullshit for way too long. Mostly it's stuff that I can't change. Whether it's relationships or just memories or mistakes...I've come to the realization that I can only be responsible for myself. Like a phrase a friend once told me, "This is my hula hoop...I can twirl it however I want, but I can't do anything about what's going on with anyone else's hula hoop."

For instance, I wish I felt closer to my family. I can keep in touch, go visit, invite them to see me, listen to them when they need me to, but I can't MAKE them want to come and visit me, or MAKE them want to call more often. And specifically my sister...we are the furthest from each other relationship-wise. I can't make her approve of me and how I live my life...I can get frustrated with her and the way she can be so close-minded at times, but it really doesn't do me any good...just makes me sad and is detrimental to my happiness. But, I can still let her know that no matter what, I'm still going to care about her and she's still my sister and I love her. She didn't send me a card or gift or anything for my birthday this year...long story short, we had a disagreement on something, but she wouldn't talk it out with me. Well, her birthday is today, and I mailed out her card yesterday. I've told myself, "I will be a better person...I won't give up on hoping that things will be better, but there is only so much I can do...the rest is up to her."

Anyway, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders for just accepting that. There are other things that I've let go...many of the mistakes I've made in my life...I've just had to realize that they don't determine my future. I'm the one who determines MY future...the one who decides how to move forward and decides how I want my life to be. I've always been good at taking charge, so here goes =).

Song of the day: "Rewind" Stereophonics (something I won't be doing too much of!)