Pain in the ass....literally

My ass is purple. As in, my tailbone made a rather rough connection with a set of stairs a couple days ago.

Let me start from the beginning. I really don't need an alarm clock to get up in the morning. My dog has to go out in the morning like clockwork. The time gets near 6:30 a.m. and all of a sudden there is a dog hopping up next to me and staring, ears pricked forward. Being the lazy bum I am, I try to ignore him for a few minutes....he knows better than to let me get away with it. The more I ignore, the more persistent he becomes. He will paw the bed next to me, then he will paw the bed closer and closer to my face. Half-awake I generally try petting him for a bit, hoping to appease him for just a little while longer. What he's probably saying in his head is something like, "Fuck petting me, you lazy ass....I need to frickin pee!"

I finally surrender, pull myself out of bed, throw on a jacket and my slip-on turquoise Pumas, and start heading down the two flights of stairs to the back door of my building. Please note, in the morning I look a little something like this:


Just to give you a good mental picture =). Well, let's just say I got to the bottom four steps and decided to reach a little too far in the middle, and I ended up doing a beautiful hurdler stretch the rest of the way down. Personally, I give it a 10("ten, ten....a fuckin ten!"). I even held on to my dog's leash. Thank god he ran down ahead of me...I would have felt much worse if he would have somehow gotten smushed in the whole ordeal.

So, I've been cushioning my ass ever since. I don't foresee any horseback riding for a couple days, but we will see how long that lasts. It's quite the shiner though, if I do say so myself.

Song of the day: "Everywhere I Go" Lissie (a sad song for my poor ass)