I flipped off the sheriff('s wife)

I really was a great influence as a child. At least I keep telling myself that.

I look back at this story and laugh my ass off. It certainly wasn't too funny to my parents at the time though.

Well, here goes nothing...hope you guys get as much of a laugh from this as I do!

I believe I was in the 4th or 5th grade when this whole incident occurred. A close friend of mine and I went with my mother one weekend afternoon to Wal-Mart. (Note: For those of you who aren't from a small town, Wal-Mart = happy hour for housewives.) We were at that age where running around a department store for two hours doesn't do quite enough to entertain us. Nope....we were much cooler than that.

And, my mother was probably way too trusting of us innocent angels. She would allow us to borrow the car keys and take the car for a spin while she was shopping.

KIDDING. We were like 10 years old for Chrissakes. (Out in the country we save the driving lessons for when we turn 13....bwahaha!)

Okay, okay, enough joking around. She would let us borrow her keys so we could go out to the car and listen to music on the radio. Well, most of the time this is exactly what we did.

Not this time. We had recently discovered that "flipping someone off" was a bad thing. We didn't entirely know what it meant though (just had to throw that in there a little bit to defend our actions at the time). But, all the same...being the rebels that we were, we decided that we were going to sit in the back seat, hide our faces, and stick our arms up inside the window and flip people off as they walked by my mother's PARKED car.

I'm pretty sure no one even saw us for the longest time, and if they did, they just laughed and chalked it up to two little devious masterminds at work.


Well, it was my turn to stick up my little middle finger, and it turns out my number just must have been up. All of a sudden, this older woman comes and starts loudly knocking on the car window, scaring the living shit out of both of us. She proceeds to yell, telling us that she's going to get our license plate number and call my mom.

DOUBLE SHIT.

I hop up to open the door and try to apologize, scared out of my wits about what might happen if my parents find out. At this very moment, when I thought things couldn't get any worse, guess who comes striding up? That's right....MY MOTHER.

I knew I was in T-R-O-U-B-L-E. My mom apologized to the lady, then hopped in the car. I had tears in my eyes already because I knew I had disappointed her. I thought this whole thing had finally hit rock bottom, until my mother opened her mouth and said the following:

"Do you know WHO THAT WAS? (leaving me no time to answer).....that was the SHERIFF'S wife."

SHIIIIIIITTTTTTTT.

I can't even remember what my punishment was, I just remember the anxiety of my stomach being in knots for the remainder of the day.

Even funnier...about seven years later I was pulled over by THE sheriff (yes, THE one whose wife got "THE finger"), and got a warning for a burnt out headlight. I thought about telling him "THE story"....obviously I thought again!

I guess I was just as feisty then as I am now. I think I turned out okay though ;). It is a pretty damn funny story to tell....


Song of the day: "It Is What It Is" Lifehouse (I was due for a weekend full of girlie music, and this song takes the cake...makes oh, so much sense to me right now)